"We're Not Boring! Really, We're Not!"

In a recent blog entry, Who Needs Enron? Microsoft Just Got Talked Into Doing A Great Sally Fields Impersonation At The Oscars For A Mere $1.7 Million Per 30 SECONDS... And It's All Perfectly Legal, David Garfinkel, one of my copywriting mentors nicely outlines the general problem with most advertising and branding agencies.

And what did Microsoft's ad agency come up to utilise the 30-second ad space?

"We're not boring! Really, we're not!"

This is amazing. Anyone with some marketing knowledge knows that the subconscious mind can't handle negatives. As the message shifts from the conscious mind to the subconscious mind, the word "not" mysteriously vanishes.

And what stays in people's subconscious minds is...

"We're boring! Really, we are!"

Then the agency's ad executive explained the situation this way...

"You do something to seed engagement in the minds of people watching it."

What engagement? The fact the Microsoft is not boring?

Anyway, read the full blog entry and admire how allegedly savvy businesspeople still fall for the, more often than not exaggerated, promises of fancy advertising agencies.

Security, Throw This Customer Out Of here... Right Now

The other day I was watching Hell's Kitchen on TV. I love Chef Gordon Ramsay's juicy British accent.

Imagine this...

All of the sudden a dissatisfied woman walked up to Chef Ramsay while he was preparing some dishes for serving. He asked her to wait a moment until he'd finish serving the food. She decided not to wait and started knocking over completed dishes waiting for service.

How would you react to this situation if you were the Chef? Most people would drop what they are doing in order to satisfy the unreasonably dissatisfied woman. Unfortunately, people who get so easily dissatisfied are virtually impossible to satisfy.

So, would you drop everything to fulfil her wishes?

No, not Chef Ramsay. Without raising a sweat or raising his voice, matter-of-factly he called out, "Call security and throw this woman out of the restaurant... Right now!"

My question for you is this: How many clients do you have that expect you to turn on a dime for them, be available 24/7 and want you to drop anything you're doing, and fully focus on their problems when they have some?

You see, Chef Ramsay didn't care about the consequences of chucking that woman out of the restaurant. He knew that one crappy guest could mess up the atmosphere in the whole restaurant, ruining the evening for dozens of guests. And regardless of the money that woman would have paid for a meal, the Chef decided to get rid of her.

So, how brave are you to stand up to some of your clients who try to abuse your contract and demand more than they're willing to pay for? Do you have the courage to give them a - even partial - refund and kick them in the arse right out of your client roster once and for all?

(Mis)diagnosis in Selling

I often compare the sales process to that of a diagnosis with a doctor. Now I have to correct my statement from "diagnosis with a doctor" to "diagnosis with a good doctor."

In his new book, entitled "How Doctors Think" by Dr. Jerome Groopman. According to Dr. Groopman’s research, some 15-20% of all medical diagnoses are incorrect, and some 10% leads to serious injuries or death.

Also, some 25% of radiological (CAT or MRI) tests are misinterpreted when the results are applied to defining the course of remedy.

So, what causes all these misdiagnoses?

According to Dr. Groopman, the average doctor interrupt patients after only 18 seconds of presenting the symptom. So, the average doctor, instead of listening to patients’ explanations of the symptoms they’re are experiencing, interrupts patients, and starts prescribing the solution based on his own "speculation".

And what is the result?

Every year, some 98,000 patients die in the US alone due to medical errors. And many of these errors are caused by erroneous diagnosis when doctors develop the course of remedy without fully discovering and exploring their patients’ symptoms.

Sadly, the same is happening in the world of selling technology solutions.

Salespeople, especially the ones on full commission, are eager to sell something on a “whatever it takes” basis because otherwise they have no money for the mortgage payment. So, instead of taking time to fully understand their prospects’ symptoms, they often start manipulating the diagnosis process and start recommending the kind of solution that is favourable to what they sell.

"Hm, so you want to reduce your sky-high manufacturing costs. I think you need our robust, leading-edge, world-class, proprietary CRM system. Let me arrange a demonstration for you."

And we all know what that leads to. After politicians, salespeople are the second least trusted and respected “professionals”. And this is just one thing.

Buyers who buy from traditional salespeople who still practice the “peddler” approach, often end up with buyer’s remorse. Many of these solutions don’t work out because they were based on partial, often incorrect, diagnosis.

And these incorrect diagnoses are caused by the fact that most technology companies expect their salespeople to turn every hunk of warm meat with a pulse beat into paying clients. Everyone must be manipulated into buying something regardless of her symptoms.

How do you deal with this problem? How do you avoid misdiagnosis?

One solution is that the marketing folks should better qualify prospects, and face-to-face meetings should take place only with prospects who have a pretty clear indication of the symptoms your solution eliminates.

Technology companies must understand that their solutions are limited to certain symptoms, and they are not solutions for everything ranging from the bubonic plague to the dreaded green lurgy.

Knowing that not every prospect is a potential client, we have to eliminate the “close the deal whatever it takes” mentality in salespeople. A good way of doing this by eliminating the commission structure. Pay all your business development people a flat base salary and put a certain percentage aside for bonuses.

But if you want all your people to work as a team, you have to pay them as a team not as a bunch of individuals who happen to be working under the same roof.

This approach removes your salespeople’s money worries, and they can focus on correctly diagnosing the prospects and proceed only with the ones that have the right symptoms.

Who Knows? Maybe the Next Disneyland?

What a brilliant idea.

Ozzfest is an annual heavy metal music festival organised by rock legend and Black Sabbath frontman, Ozzy Osbourne and his business-genius wife, Sharon.

For 2007, they came up with the idea of running the event for free, and I think it's a brilliant marketing idea. "

And why do they do it?

They understand the basic concept that in order to acquire new clients the best way is not saying to them, "Hey, give me your money.

They want to offer an unforgettable experience for the audience, so they are more likely to return. They also know that the large part of the revenue comes from ancillary products and services, not from the ticket prices.

So, they are willing to forego the revenue from the tickets in order to attract more people who buy more ancillary products and services. And they - I believe quite correctly - anticipate that the extra revenue from ancillary purchases will far outweigh the lost ticket revenue.

Here is Sharon's perspective: "This will change everybody’s impression of the way touring in the summer in America should be."

And she's wise enough to know that to achieve this they have to plant first and the plentiful harvest is almost unavoidable.

What I see here is that the Ozzfest will soon become the proverbial Disneyland for heavy metal lovers. It becomes a legend and people from all over the wold will go there to have the heavy metal experience of a lifetime.